March 01, 2023
At some point in our lives, we all go through pain. Whether we’ve been hurt by our friends, family, a significant other, or have hurt ourselves, it hurts just as much and this pain turns into anger or sadness sooner than we realise. Pain is inevitable, but how we choose to grow through it is important. Yes, forgiveness isn’t easy. After all, you’ve been hurt and it is only unfair to forgive so easily. But let me tell you, forgiveness is the only way you can let go and move on. Throughout our lives, we will come across people who are going to hurt us, but what matters is how we choose to let go. Holding onto feelings of anger, sadness or grief can turn us bitter. The first step to forgiveness is acknowledging your emotions and let yourself feel what you’re feeling. Don’t be too hard on yourself, take one day at a time. Even when you think you have let go, there will always be a painful memory that will come back to haunt you, and that’s okay. Feel it as much as you want, but don’t let these emotions overpower you. And always remember, forgiveness has more to do with you rather than the person who has hurt you. It’s for your own peace and freedom.
While you are going learning how to forgive someone, make sure you ask yourself these questions:
The answer to this question lies within you. If you feel you have been deeply wounded, and are unable to process your emotions, then talking to someone always helps. Venting out your feelings helps you figure out how deeply you have been hurt, and how much time is it going to take to fully heal. Talk to your loved ones, and if you feel they don’t understand where you’re coming from, then try seeking professional help. It always helps.
Sometimes when we’re going through a turmoil of emotions, without realising it, we hurt our loved ones or we become distant because we are afraid to get hurt again. We feel scared to get vulnerable again, and choose to shut ourselves completely. But this is not going to make it easier, in fact, it might make it worse. You need to understand that your loved ones are here to help you and be there for you.
Yes, acceptance is hard. But you need to accept the fact that you have been hurt, and there are parts of you still trying to forgive the person. You can heal and yet be bitter. In order to completely heal your heart, you need to accept the hurt and let it sink in. Only once you accept it, that is when true healing begins. Once you heal your heart, it allows you to be fueled by love and forgiveness rather than revenge.
Once you know the answer to these questions, you’ll be able to process your emotions and heal along the way. Forgiveness and healing are synonyms and once you understand that, there is no going back. It makes you kinder, wiser and ultimately makes you realise that all the anger and frustration was never worth it. Life is too beautiful, and holding onto such emotions just adds up unnecessary tension in your life. So take a deep breath, listen to the sound of your heart, and let go. All the weight you have been carrying in your heart needs to be unburdened. If you grow through what you go through, then life becomes simpler and you start to see appreciate even the smallest of things around you, and find beauty in everything.