June 09, 2023
A relationship signifies the unison of two souls, sharing emotions, vulnerabilities, and heartfelt moments together in sickness and health. The thought of two people going through ups and downs and triumphing over tribulations makes the butterflies in our hearts go feral. A couple lighting the love lanterns and illuminating their love game is a heavenly vision to envision. However, with time, many couples face the ordeal of an extinguishing spark as their initial rom-com meet-cute period passes, and they face the same old, same old.
Real life is massively different from on-screen romantic comedies, where the two couples meet, fight, endure, and come out strong to pave the way for a happy ending. In reality, no matter how soulful your connection is, there is always a possibility of you falling out of love. And it is completely normal! Long-term love and marriage often undergo the hardships of drowning in the sea of indifference, cast aside and forgotten. It is the make-or-break point where couples either part ways or stand the test of time to emerge victorious. So, what is the solution?
Many couples in the age group 35 to 50 agree that the reason for their relationship falling apart is the lack of excitement and predictability becoming the new norm. With the progression of time, the fiery sparks get superseded by monotonous 'snore-fests' that dim the light of affection and the will to put effort into the relationship. In many cases, lack of communication increases misunderstandings, and unexpressed desires usher emotional burnout leading to relationships being pushed to the fringes of indifference. As the relationship grows into a routine, unresolved emotional baggage that arose due to lack of emotional expression weighs down the vibrancy of the relationship and leaves the spark trapped in a distant dimension. Always remember that no matter how strong the relationship is, if the couple is not nurturing their individual personal growth, their relationship will become stagnant and eventually lose its charm. It is probably why many contemporary couples, whether married or unmarried, undergo relationship & marriage counselling to sail the sinking ship of their relationship.
It won't be unfair to say that, in romantic relationships, the word 'spark' holds a subjective meaning. It could be equivalent to appreciation, emotional expression, physical indulgence, open display of affection, participation in activities, doing cliché things together, and whatnot! While it is all up to you what you choose to bring back the lost magic in your relationship, we have curated some time-tested pieces of advice to help you build the meaningful and healthy relationship you seek to live in with your partner.
When two people are unified, the expression of emotions and vulnerabilities acts as a glue that keeps their relationship from falling into a trench of emptiness. Expressing emotions & vulnerabilities allows a couple to share their love, thoughts, feelings, and needs, leading to a stronger emotional connection and empathy toward each other. While communication, on the other hand, leads to conflict resolution and emotional intimacy and avoids misunderstandings. It might be difficult in the beginning to lay your feelings bare open, but gradually you will learn to trust and understand each other.
Space in relationships fosters independence and provides room for emotional balance and self-reflection. When you take some time apart, you get rid of the pent-up feelings that make you see things clearly as they are. Temporary absence or space increases anticipation, makes hearts grow fonder, and creates a sense of longing, leading to more fulfilling and meaningful togetherness when reunited. Space creates a sense of longing, leading to more fulfilling and meaningful togetherness when reunited. Moreover, the act of offering space the act of demonstrates trust and security within the relationship. Leading marriage and relationship counsellors in India and abroad advice offering space to each other to have clarity and better understanding in relationships.
In India, many couples seek relationship counselling before getting into a wedlock to deepen their understanding. While married couples undergo marriage counselling to seek external opinions and new perspectives about their relationships. Seeking assistance, such as marriage counseling or relationship therapy, can provide a matter-of-fact outlook and help us gain insights into the issues and challenges within the relationship. External assistance also provides a safe space to process emotions, heal from past traumas, and develop healthy coping mechanisms, which positively impact relationships. Professional counselors provide emotional support and guidance to understand and solve the underlying issues in a relationship and encourage intimacy, trust, and connection, leading to a more fulfilling and delightful partnership.
Every relationship starts with a passion, which gradually fades with time if not handled with love, care and consistent efforts. When there is a lack of consistent effort, the relationship becomes a back-of-the-shelf showpiece that gathers dust and loses its charm. Every couple needs to make significant efforts and try new things to make their relationship retain the fondness and exude the newness it once had. By incorporating the aforementioned tips into your daily life, you can bring back the spark you desire and live a happy and loving life with your partner forever.
Here's wishing you love & light!